I grew up on a Standard American Diet and honestly, I was fine. It was when I turned 18 I had something very traumatic change my life something private. I started caring a lot about what I looked like. I always had but at 18 it was the worst it had ever been. I barley ate and I took stimulates to help curve my appetite. I was very thin! I didn’t look anorexic or anything but I was thin. I would run up to 8 miles a day and barley eat anything that day. I thought that is what I needed to do to be thin. When people started noticing it only made me that much more excited and I thought I was doing the right things. Once I went to Lubbock, TX for college that’s when it came back to bite me in the butt. I gained ALL the weight back plus more. I started getting depressed again and my moods were insane. I was eating at Cane’s chicken, Whataburger, chipotle, and Chick-fil-a literally every single day and night THEN I would go out that night and drink with friends and at 2-3am get Whataburger and go home. It wasn’t until I saw a picture of myself and realized how uncomfortable I was in a bathing suit that it really hit me. I used to run around in my bathing suit at my friends house not caring a bit because I was confident… unhealthy, but confident and now I can’t even fit in those bathing suits without hanging over them.
That’s when I found HCG. For those of you who don’t know what HCG is. Here is a brief description:
“The HCG diet has been popular for many years. It’s an extreme diet, claimed to cause fast weight loss of up to 1-2 pounds per day. What’s more, you’re not supposed to feel hungry in the process. However, the FDA has called it dangerous, illegal and fraudulent. This article takes an objective look at the science behind the HCG diet.
HCG, or human chorionic gonadotropin, is a hormone present at high levels in early pregnancy. In fact, this hormone is used as a marker in home pregnancy tests (1). HCG has also been used to treat fertility issues in both men and women (2). However, elevated blood levels of HCG may also be a symptom of several types of cancer, including placental, ovarian and testicular cancer (3). A British doctor named Albert Simeons first proposed HCG as a weight loss tool in 1954. His diet consisted of two main components:
- An ultra low-calorie diet of around 500 calories per day.
- The HCG hormone administered via injections.
Today, HCG products are sold in various forms, including oral drops, pellets and sprays. They are also available through countless websites and some retail stores.”
I got the drops for HCG and started right away. So my first two days I was suppose to “gorge” basically eat as much and whatever I wanted. Then the next 3 weeks I would be eating only 500 calories a day taking the drops before each meal. Breakfast was coffee (sounds great right) Lunch was usually 3oz of beef or chicken with some tomatoes and a side of lettuce or cabbage. Dinner was the same thing and in between i’d have some strawberries and one melba toast. The next day I would wake up and i’d be 1 pound smaller. At the end of this I had lost THIRTY pounds. I went from 175 to 145-148 IN THREE WEEKS Y’ALL (BAD BAD BAD). I was SO HAPPY…. but guess what? Yea you flippin guessed it I GAINED IT ALL BACK PLUS SOME. Y’all I was hitting 190 after that!? I went on to do this at least 7 times because I didn’t knowhow else to lose weight fast. Which you shouldn’t lose weight fast because it’s not healthy. Did I mention I almost fainted 3 times while doing this. I was in church one day talking to my old youth pastors wife Cheryl and I interrupted her saying I needed to sit down and literally everything started to spin.
So, I finally stopped doing that and tried to eat healthier. I ate fruit and chicken and greens and plenty of it. I was trying to eat around 1500 calories a day. I was losing some weight but I was ALWAYS craving something. It sucked! I was never satisfied and I got headaches all the time. So, of course I gave up and went back on HCG. I had no self control or dedication. I mean you get desperate when you feel so bad about yourself.
Fast forward to Christmas of 2016. I gave up on hcg and started eating bad only during that week. I was about 175 all over again. I was 165 when we got there. I gained 10 pounds in like 6 days… THATS CRAZY. (hcg will make that happen) I was at my soon to be mother in-law and father in-laws house looking in the mirror tearing up in the bathroom just wondering how the heck I was back to this. I mean I know I lost some more weight but that was weight I should have never gained back. I was just upset and really not loving myself at all. That day I promised myself when we went back to Austin, January 5th, 2017 I would quit doing all this fad dieting and find something that works.
January 5th, 2017 was my first day of going vegan. I decided to do raw vegan for 2 weeks to detox myself. I knew it was gonna suck and it did but after the fourth day I felt SO AMAZING. I was running, smiling, and being productive. I don’t know if I lost weight because I stopped weighing myself but I felt I had. After the two weeks went by I started eating more cooked foods at night and more fruits. (Picture on the left is after hcg fail and picture on the right is after a vegan diet of eating in abundance)
6 months pass and I realize I am losing some serious weight. So I decided to step on the scale and I was 165!? It was working!! The best part was I was never hungry and I didn’t have a ton of cravings. I got plenty of headaches though from detox but it was worth it. I started feeling more confident.
Now, its almost Christmas and we are living in Kansas City. It’s almost been a year since I went vegan. I did slip up a few times with dairy only and trust me my stomach was not having it. I am not sure what I weigh right now because I don’t weigh myself. I have struggled for far to long with body issues and restriction that I don’t want to do anything that will put me back in that cycle. I still cheat and I still struggle with certain things but that is the whole part of this journey. Nothing happens over night. I think in another 2 years I will be right
where I wished I would be a year ago… but I know right now I am a heck of a lot closer to that goal then I was a year ago. I now eat an abundance of foods. I eat pasta almost everyday and haven’t gained any weight as far as I can tell. If anything, I am still losing weight. If I could get rid of cheat days and alcohol completely that would be a BIG help. By cheat days I don’t mean pasta and rice either I mean oily foods and fatty processed foods. I just have to take it one day at a time and better myself everyday.
If you struggle with any of these things you are not alone and you CAN get past it. I don’t mean you have to go vegan to do that but for me going vegan saved me. I still am struggling with loving myself and I think a lot of girls do. It just takes work every single day to view yourself in a loving way. All this time you have been telling yourself you aren’t good enough, now you have to make yourself believe the opposite after convincing yourself that was all true. It isn’t easy but you can do it!! (: I can do it! We can do it! ❤ Now i’m working to get back to my ideal weight but the HEALTHY way (: